Revenge Is Best Served Below Freezing
by Amelia Greene
Summary: The sequel to The Trickster And The Roman. River and Amy get their revenge on their husbands through a particular winter sport. However, when these four are involved, nothing ever goes exactly to plan. T for some swearing.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Okay, here's the sequel to The Roman And The Trickster. If you haven't read it, then I suggest that you do. However, if you really don't want to read it, then all you have to know is that Amy and River are mad at Rory and the Doctor for pranking them, and they want revenge. **

**Disclaimer: Okay so, I own nothing, yadda, yadda, yadda. The BBC owns all =P**

The Doctor and Rory met up in the console room early the next morning. Both boys were exhausted from getting very little sleep the night before, for they were both too afraid of what their wives might do to them in their sleep. Rory spent most of the time glaring at the Doctor.

"This is all your fault you know. If you hadn't gotten bored we wouldn't be in this mess." Rory grumbled.

"Me? This is my fault? How is that so? It was your idea to push Pond into the pool, not mine!" The Doctor scoffed.

"Yeah, well it was your idea to prank them…" Rory muttered.

"When I said pranking, my idea was to jump out and yell 'Boo', not to get this elaborate. I acknowledge that getting River mad was my fault, so be a man and accept that getting Pond mad was all on you." The Doctor retorted.

Neither of them noticed Amy and River coming down the stairs to the console room until Amy said good morning to them.

Expecting flames, the two men instantly jumped to their feet, with Rory hiding behind the Doctor.

River smirked and said, "Hello, Sweetie!"

Remembering the tone River had used when she had said that to him the night before, the Doctor grabbed Rory and used him as a shield in between himself and River.

Rory didn't want to be that close to Amy, so he shoved the Doctor. The Doctor once again did the same, and the cycle repeating itself over and over. This left Amy and River watching and laughing at the two boys' behavior.

Eventually, River decided that they needed to get going soon and pulled the two apart.

"Come on now, you two, stop messing around. We have the whole universe at our disposal! Let's go on and see it."

The two boys stared at River, dumbfounded. The Doctor was the first to recover.

"So… you're not mad at me?" The Doctor asked incredulously.

River laughed as she replied, "Of course not! Why would I be?"

The Doctor opened his mouth to remind her of the night before, but then thought better of it, hoping that she had short-term amnesia or something.

Rory walked over to where Amy stood.

"So you're not mad at me either?" he inquired.

"No, silly! Is there a reason why I should be?" Amy chirped.

Rory immediately grinned, assuming the same thing as the Doctor, "No, no of course not. I was just… checking."

Amy smiled and shook her head before giving a quick kiss. Rory resolved that he'd make sure she didn't have a concussion later, and just enjoy her good mood while he could.

After eating breakfast and such, the four time travellers made their way back to the console room.

"So where are we going to be going today?" The Doctor asked.

River and Amy gave each other knowing looks. The first step of their plan was about to come into play.

Amy stopped and pretended to think for a minute before answering, "Oh, I know! How about we go skiing? I've heard that Colorado is beautiful…"

Both men looked surprised at the request.

The Doctor looked around as he asked, "All in favor?"

There was a chorus of yesses before they decided going in the year 2012 to a mountain in Colorado that would be picked at random.

"Wait a second," the Doctor said as he piloted the TARDIS, "I don't know about the rest of you, but I haven't the foggiest idea on how to ski."

"Yeah, me neither." Rory agreed.

"We can teach you two if you want." River and Amy chorused.

Rory and the Doctor looked at each other and shrugged. "Sure, why not?" Rory replied.

The TARDIS bucked and rocked as it flew through space and time with its passengers tumbling about inside. Finally, the ship shuddered to a stop, and they arrived at their destination.

"Alright," the Doctor started, "everyone go get changed into thermal snow gear. We all meet back here in half and hour, got it?"

Everyone nodded and charged to the TARDIS wardrobe, and half an hour later, everyone was suited up and walked out of the TARDIS to the lodging area to get tickets and sign the paperwork for renting ski equipment.

After what seemed like an eternity, everyone was outside on the base of the mountain with their skis on and heading towards the lift.

**A/N Hope you liked the first chapter, please review, they are like a writer's chocolate. =D**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Alrighty then, here's the second chapter. Enjoy! =D **

"It's so hard to walk in these damn- AH!" the Doctor yelped, tripping on his skis and falling flat on his face for the sixth time in five minutes.

River just shook her head and laughed, watching him trying and failing miserably to get back on his feet; it was almost good enough to be payback, but not quite.

The Doctor looked up at River and glared at her, "You know River, you standing there and just watching me is _really_ helpful. I just wanted to thank you for that."

River smirked, but helped him up, "You're welcome, Sweetie." She gave him a quick peck on his cheek and then dragged him over to the chairlift where Amy and Rory were already waiting for them. Or at least Amy was; Rory was on the ground in a similar position that the Doctor had been in a minute or so before.

The Doctor helped Rory get up, and only just managed it without falling over himself, and then the four of them proceeded to get on the chairlift, miraculously without any serious issues. That is, besides River and Amy's slightly bruised ribs from both getting jabbed by their husband's elbows.

As they ascended, they took in the beautiful views surrounding them. The Doctor and Rory sat wide-eyed and completely awestruck. Amy and River grinned at each other. This was probably the last time they were going to be happy with them for a while.

The Doctor turned towards River, "So are you sure where we're going is for beginners? It looks like we're going pretty high up…"

River raised one eyebrow. "What, is the big, bad Time Lord afraid of heights?"

The Doctor's eyes flashed at the challenge. "Of course not," he snorted, "I'm just worried about Rory-"

"Hey!" Rory interrupted.

The Doctor ignored Rory as he continued, "I know he hasn't skied before so I just want to make sure he'll be okay."

Rory retorted, "Hey, you haven't exactly skied either!"

"That was pretty obvious based on how you were tripping over your own two skis." Amy muttered.

The Doctor opened his mouth to reply to Amy's comment, but after finding he had nothing to retort, he closed it again and was silent. The rest of the ride up consisted of teasing each other, and other conversations.

After about ten minutes, they finally reached the top and dismounted. Both Rory and the Doctor stumbled but yet again, managed to not fall. Either they were getting the hang of it, or were just getting really lucky, River thought.

"So, the beginner trails are the green circles right?" the Doctor questioned.

Amy and River grinned at him as they replied, "Yep!"

Rory looked at the signs of the trails all around them. "But there aren't any green circles around here."

Their grins took on a mischievous, and slightly malicious tone. Still speaking in unison, they repeated, "Yep!"

The Doctor and the Rory looked at each with eyes so wide with fear that they looked like their eyeballs were going to pop out of their sockets.

"WHAT?"

**A/N Rory and the Doctor are complete geniuses =P I can't believe they actually thought **

**they'd escaped the wrath of their wives. Alright, so please review! Thanks! =)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Chapter three, here we go. Hope you like it! =)**

Amy was smiling like a cat would at two mice it was playing with before it would eat them. The two boys shivered at her expression. "As I said before Rory, payback's a bitch."

Rory winced, "So I take it you two didn't forget about last night then?"

River rolled her eyes. "One word, acting."

"We really should've seen that one coming…" Rory muttered.

The Doctor looked at River and Amy. "So. How exactly are we going to get down this mountain then? The easiest trail from here to the bottom is a black diamond, and there is no way I'm going down that, not in any of my regenerations."

"Well that's a shame then because if you stay up here, then you'll probably freeze to death. Have I told you what I've discovered?" River asked, and after getting a blank look from both boys, she purred, "No? Well what I've discovered is that revenge is best served below freezing."

"You know, I've faced Cybermen, Daleks, the Silence, Slitheen, and the Master, but I think you two may be the most evil people I have ever met in all of my years." The Doctor growled.

Amy did a little curtsy and River blew him a kiss. "We try!" Amy replied.

Rory shuffled over to the edge, peered over the edge, and quickly pulled himself back. He turned to the Doctor and glared at him. "This is all your fault you know! If you just hadn't gotten bored yesterday we wouldn't be in this mess!"

The Doctor let out a breath and held his head high as he said, "Well, standing here bickering about it isn't going to get us down to the bottom. Let's just get this over with."

He turned towards the girls who were slightly surprised at his change in attitude. "Okay, can you at least help us a little bit here? Believe me, you'll have your fun watching Rory-"

"Are you just dead-set on insulting me at every chance you get?" Rory muttered.

"-get down, but we'll still need a little bit of help here." The Doctor finished, once again ignoring Rory's comment.

Amy and River looked at each other, and shrugged. "He kind of has a point," Amy whispered.

River sighed, "Fine, but I am so recording this."

They turned to him and nodded reluctantly. The Doctor grinned, ready for the challenge, and turned towards Rory and dragged him away from the edge where he'd been staring down it hopelessly.

About ten or twenty minutes passed as Amy and River explained the basics to the two boys who were listening attentively despite the stinging wind that had begun to pick up.

When the two girls were confident they'd told them enough, Amy took Rory down one trail and River took the Doctor down another after saying good-bye to one another.

Amy looked over her shoulder to watch River and the Doctor set off. She smirked,

thinking that this was going to be one hell of a day.

**A/N Please review! =)**


	4. Chapter 4

They'd just watched Rory go down with Amy, clinging to her like she was the last life raft on the Titanic, and the Doctor had laughed at him. He'd started to get cocky, but showing him what he had to go down would soon fix that, River thought as she dragged him towards the edge. Currently he was going on about something to do with physics and momentum, so she just tuned him out.

As the Doctor looked down, his rambling trailed off, leaving an expression similar to a deer caught in the headlights. River waved her hand in front of his face, but there was no reaction. A cruel thought crossed her mind, and she shoved him over the edge. This snapped him out of his trance, and his arms wind milled, struggling to remember what he was supposed to do.

"RIVER!" the Doctor screamed as he raced towards the trees, completely out of control. She quickly chased him down, but she couldn't get there fast enough, and fell to the ground. However, when he hit the ground, he didn't stop. He kept rolling until he finally hit a tree. Luckily, by the time he hit it, he'd slowed down enough that it wouldn't hurt him, only keep him in one spot.

By the time River had reached the Doctor, he was shaking. She bit her lip, thinking that pushing him over the edge might have been a _slightly _uncalled for. She grabbed his arm, pulling him to his feet, hoping that she hadn't completely petrified her poor husband.

"You okay?" River asked.

The Doctor looked like he had been about to nod, but then he looked down the hill and he stiffened. River moved in front of him to block his view of the way down before his eyes could glaze over again.

The Doctor shook his head as if to clear his thoughts and then croaked, "I- I don't really… Never mind. It's stupid."

River looked at him deadpan serious. "Sweetie, I'm your wife. I won't laugh, just tell me."

"I…" The Doctor gulped, and then stuttered, "I'm- I don't like… being this high up."

"You're afraid of heights?" River asked disbelievingly. "But you have a space ship, and that's pretty damn high up!"

He shrugged slightly and refused to meet her eyes, suddenly seeming sort of shy. "In space there's no gravity, not much for you to hit."

"Half the time you crash-land."

"Yes, but the TARDIS takes the brunt of the fall. Also, I don't exactly see just how high up I am…" He sighed, and nervously ran a gloved hand through his hair out of habit. "I don't know how to explain it. It's fine if I'm in the TARDIS, but falling off a cliff doesn't exactly sound fun to me."

River instantly felt guilty. If she'd known that he was afraid of heights, then she would never have done this. It was odd how he could be so different to everyone else, but at times be so… human. She would've never expected the Doctor to have such a normal fear.

She sighed and responded, "Why didn't you tell me? This would've been a _little_ useful to know. And don't you _dare_ say you were embarrassed," she looked at him as he opened and then closed his mouth. He had presumably about to say what she'd predicted. River continued, "Now come on, time to face your fears."

The Doctor looked at her in horror. "What do you mean? Now?"

She nodded. "Yes, now come on. I lead, and you follow, got it? Just mirror what I do. I won't go fast."

The Doctor bit his lip, and looked down the side of the mountain. He looked back at her and shook his head, his eyes wide and terrified. "No, I-I can't. No way."

"Doctor." River turned his attention back onto her, trying to distract him from the slope ahead. "You're always asking me to trust you, but right now, I need you to trust me."

He closed his eyes, and for about a minute, he was completely silent. Finally, the Doctor opened his eyes and nodded."

"Okay, so just follow me. You're smart, you'll catch on."

She started with easy, simple movements that carved across the mountain. Just as she promised, she went slow, but still fast enough that they made progress. He was really unsteady at first, but just as she thought, he caught on quick and was soon adding his own flair. After a while, he was even grinning and laughing, and seemed to be having a good time. They started to race each other down the mountain, and revenge was soon wiped clear from River's mind.

Meanwhile, on the other trail Amy and Rory were struggling down the mountain, the wind whipping at them relentlessly. Amazingly, Rory got the basics down pretty fast, and had quickly adapted to the long strips of metal on his feet. They would've even been having a great time if not for the cold, piercing wind. Amy and Rory pulled their jackets around themselves tighter, and went a little faster in the hopes that they'd reach the warmth of the lodge sometime soon.

"Amy, how much longer do you think until we reach the bottom of the mountain?" Rory called out through the howling gale.

Amy squinted and almost groaned when she noticed that snow was starting to fall too. She'd been asking herself the same question for the past fifteen minutes, and had been about to ask him the same thing. She shook snowflakes out of her hair. They were falling fast, and the temperature had started to drop pretty rapidly.

"Amy? I just want to say now that I'm never shoving you into a pool ever again, got it?"

Amy laughed, for the first time since they'd started skiing that day, remembered the reason why they'd brought the boys here. "So you've learned your lesson?"

Rory hit a patch of ice and skidded, barely avoiding falling on his butt. "Yes!"

"Good! I wonder how River and the Doctor are doing?"

Rory replied, "Well she's probably making his life hell. You know, I'm starting to wonder if hell has actually frozen over, and this is it."

Amy snorted and shook her head. "Nah, if this was hell frozen over, we wouldn't have coats on. That'd be too kind."

"True. Very true."

Suddenly, they heard a loud _crack_ in the distance. The two of them looked over to where the noise came from, and saw a massive chunk of snow tumble down a hill, the avalanche getting bigger and bigger.

At first Amy was relieved it was so far away, but then she realized something that made her blood run colder than the frigid air around them.

The avalanche was on the trail River and the Doctor had taken.

**A/N Dun! Dun! Dun! Sorry for the cliffy, but I figured this would be a good place to **

**leave off. I will try and update as soon as I can, but I need people to review! Thanks! **

**=)**


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